Shopping Carts and Garbage.......Reflections on the Road to Recovery from alcoholism

    

                    Reflections.........................................on the Road to Recovery

                                                    
                                     (6) - - Shopping Carts and Garbage 


When I was drinking,  I didn't care much about others or respecting things that didn't belong to me. That bothers me to this day. When I see garbage in the streets and  shopping carts left in the middle of parking lots, it's a reminder of how I used to live.

So now when I go on walks in the park, I pick up a bottles, cans, etc., from the grass and place them in the garbage. When I get to a parking lot and see a rogue cart- left out there by someone - positioned to damage someones car- I put it away in its place.

These type of actions, as small as they are, add up. They move me in a the direction I want to go. They add a little bit of respect for the new me.

Do you find yourself doing small positive things like this in recovery?

What types of things?

How do you feel after you do them?

Final thought: Just think what my park would look like if each walker picked up a few pieces of garbage.

Balance ......Reflections on the Road to Recovery from alcoholism

                Reflections.........................................on the Road to Recovery

                                                    
                                                        (5) - Balance



I have heard from so many recovering alcoholics that "Once I start (fill in the blank), I don't stop. I do things to excess, to the extreme".

I've learned that more is not better. Most of the time I can sense when I'm doing things in excess. Balance is my goal.


What do you do to excess?

Have you experienced "more is not better"?

How is the balance in your life?

What areas do you need to change to improve balance?

New paths in the jungle of life-recovery from alcoholism

                   Reflections...................................... on the Road to Recovery
       
New paths in the jungle of life

In April, 2013 I celebrated 23 years of continuous sobriety. I am very grateful and happy to tell you that.  I have a tradition that was given to me that has me going to all of my regular meetings plus those special “extra” meetings that I attend when I can.  And, as usually happens, with attending all of these meetings,   I’m in a really good spot.  Spiritually filled.  On the “AA Beam” again.  Spending time giving leads, chairing beginners's meetings, talking with newcomers after the meetings…..

Doing these things really puts me in a good place.  Not surprising, since I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing- as the Twelfth Step “suggests” to us.  Give back what was freely given to us.  Simple. Clear.  Powerful.   Great antidote to the “root of our problem”- selfishness and self-centeredness - a condition I continue to battle with.

On occasion I share an analogy that came to me in a very clear way, one which helps me understand why it is so difficult to stay sober, especially in the early part of our recovery.


Here it is:

Relapse........Reflections on the Road to Recovery from alcoholism

    Reflections........................................ on the Road to Recovery


                                          (5)- Relapse

"Many AA members relapse in the first year of recovery".


What do you think are the major reasons for this?

What defenses do you employ daily against relapse?

What do you think is the biggest trigger that you must guard against?

      










 

Surrender.............Reflections on the Road to Recovery from alcoholism

    


            Reflections..................................................on the Road to Recovery


                                     (4)- Surrender


I was talking to a friend in the program today who was having a hard time accepting help from someone. He said, " You know, this is like surrender and with my military background,  this doesn't feel very good......."

Many of his friends, including me, suggested to him that accepting this offer of help was sane and clearly the right thing to do. Even with all of this support, he was stuckkkkk......

I spoke with him for a long time,  then shared this thought: "You know, the type of surrender we are talking about here is a good form of surrender.  It's surrendering your old thinking, your old beliefs, your old way of doing things, and moving in a positive direction toward more sane and positive thinking and action.

He thought about this for a minute and said, "I never could or would have viewed this situation in that way. Thanks, I'm going to accept the help". I finished by saying, "God has many ways to send his messages when we most need them."

I'm really happy for my friend. He is building a strong program of recovery.

Good Habits, Bad Habits ............Reflections on the Road to Recovery from alcoholism

             Reflections.................................................on the Road to Recovery


                                     (3)- Good Habits, Bad Habits


Here's what I discovered about Good and Bad habits

Good habits:

•     Tend to be things you don't like to do
•     Difficult to start
•     Hard to keep up
•     Require self-discipline
•     Once you stop for a short time it is hard to start doing them again
•     Take a while to become a habit (Many people say 90 days)

Bad habits:

•     Not good for you
•     Take little effort to start and keep up
•     Hard to stop
•     Don't take long to become a habit
•     Take away from other positive aspects of your life
•     Hurt self-esteem 
•     Focused on self (Selfish)

  Can you add to this list of  attributes?

The Bridge= Surrender and Willingness-recovery from alcoholism

The Bridge

Did you ever experience the frustration of trying to help someone get sober and watch helplessly as they continue to relapse? Ever convince yourself that a newcomer has “got it” based on the understanding they have about our disease and descriptions of how it’s ruined their lives?...and then be informed that even with all this knowledge they have relapsed. Again and again? 

Continual relapse represents a cycle of negativity and delay in recovery from a hopeless state of mind and body.   Goes something like this: We engage in drinking  and keep going until consequences stop us or we just feel so bad on the inside that we take a pause. This phrase, take a pause, is intended since it implies we are not really ready to stop, we just feel too badly to go on with our defeating behavior for the time being. There is a big gap between pausing and surrender.