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| Reflections |
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| ...on the Road to Recovery |
When my alcoholism and addictive personalty are active, the following words describe my tendencies:
Impulsive, fast, selfish, mean-spirited, irritable, angry, fearful, seeking immediate gratification, undisciplined...
Drifting and remaining in this state takes no effort on my part- just happens by default.
In recovery, I have been introduced to a whole new set of words that represent the fullness of sobriety (soundness of mind) to me:
Perseverance, consistency, thoroughness, patience, kindness, caring, courage, discipline, thoughtfulness, other- focused...
Implementing and integrating these attitudes and actions in my life is extremely difficult for me. I make frustratingly slow progress. But each step toward them gets me to be the kind of person who I like and who God meant me to be. As I move toward them (on a snail's pace). I like myself more and more (I believe others feel the same about me). It's truly a journey.
Which of these words strike home with you?
What words would you add?
Where are you on the journey of transformation as you envision it?
Perseverance and discipline are the two that jump out at me. Some days I wake up and I just don't want to be a drug addict--period. I'm mad at myself, God, Bill W.--the world. But, after a short pity party I drop to my knees and pray, then do my morning readings. For me this takes perseverance and discipline. The word that I would add is GRATITUDE. I've seen alot of recovery friends relapse recently and it's tough to watch, it can de very discouraging. But mostly, it just strengthens my resolve and makes me feel so grateful to God. This is going to sound selfish, but I'm grateful it's not me
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