Been reading, hearing, discussing and meditating on the subject of change and d...d...d... discipline. Hard for me to even say the discipline word. Just don't like the mere thought of:
1. not doing what I want to do
2. doing what I don't want to do
There was a guy in our wanderer's group that I attended many years ago that said repeatedly- Step six is the most difficult step in the program- because its all about change.
After we work the steps I believe we all begin to know what thoughts and actions are getting in the way of our program of recovery- at its basic level- getting us closer to a drink and- at its highest level- holding us back from being all God intended for us to be.
The simple question is; if we know these things are harmful, why don't we just change them?
Seems like everyone has an opinion and thought about this- usually comes out in our discussions of steps 6 and 7.
I just wanted to share some of my recent thoughts and ask that if you have any please share:
If I want to change for the better:
- Becoming willing to have my defects removed and asking God to remove them are essential to making positive changes in my life. No matter how hard I try, I cant do it by myself through willpower alone. And becoming willing to have certain defects removed, in some cases, takes a long time and much pain is required. They are part of me, part of my personality, used for coping with life- that makes it hard to let go. I must trust that God will replace them with something better.
- With point one above as a requirement, what I have recently really focused on is "what part do we play" in this change for the better process?
Here are recent insights that I continue to reflect and meditate upon:
- We have the God given power to make these changes- however we need to become willing, ask God for help and then COOPERATE with God to make progress..
- How do we cooperate with God in removing or at least minimizing our shortcomings?
- By using our will (yes our free will-God gave it to us) to not do the things we want to do and do the things we don't want to do.
- If we start to think or do something we shouldn't- we can ask God for help- immediately- and then do something else- something positive- This course of action requires willingness as mentioned earlier.
- If there is something we should be doing or thinking we can ask God for help-immediately- and then do the next right thing in that direction.
- The recent insight that has come to me is the correlated, associated and vital part of COOPERATION- that is d...d...d... discipline. (still hard getting the word out ).
I can no longer use the excuse that I just couldn’t help myself. I have the power of God, of a strong program of recovery... many tools to draw upon, many friends who will help.... To get better I must initiate the necessary new action thus cooperating with God. Easier said than done.
My plan is to proceed with this new knowledge, ask God for assistance, practice and then do the best I can with what I have today.
Thoughts?
Thanks alot Rick, you just eliminated any excuses I might still get away with using in one felt swoop!! Well put my friend and I couldn't agree with you more. But, as you said, looks really simple on paper. However, some days, in my case, it feels like I'm climbing Mt. Everest. But, at least now thanks to all those things you listed I'm ABLE to climb!!
ReplyDeleteBeen at this climb for a long time Steve. Sometimes I look up and get discouraged. But then i look at where i started and my hope returns- and I'm glad I'm where I'm at rather than where I used to be.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing-
Rick
Hey Guys,
ReplyDeleteI agree that we all have a God-given gift for self discipline. It is like a muscle. It has to be exercised to become strong. That's the cooperation thing. But it isn't easy. For me, discipline is difficult, too. But telling myslef that I don't have discipline is like suicide. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The Apostle Paul writes to the church at Galatia (Galatians 5:22) that the fruit of the Spirit includes self-control. And self-control is listed as the LAST of the nine fruit of the Spirit. In the practice of writing, the last word mentioned is the one most remembered. It is in the "power position." So step eleven is crucial here. Stay close to God, to the Spirit, to our Higher Power.
What helps me is when I develop tools for accountability. For example,I use a very visible calendar and jot down my weight each time I shower; I jot down every time I go to the gym or walk on my treadmill. I make notes and posters to remind myself.
A second thing I try to do is put up a symbolic fence to keep me from falling over the edge into some temptation. If something is toxic, I not only don't want to drink it or touch it, I don't want to get within 100 yards of it. I'm not always successful, but when I'm smart I do this. So I never go to Hooters for lunch. I use cruise control to keep my car within a legal (plus 5mph) speed limit. If I get angry, I go for a walk or do something else before I get into a shouting match. Then I try to think of good things about the person I'm mad at.
What practical things do you do?
Lists, Lists, Lists! I'm a list guy Freeman--or goals for the day, whichever you prefer to call it. Every morning I make a list of what needs to be done for the day.. At night I go back through my list and hold myself accountable. I do my best to improve every day on what I accomplish. Instead of concentrating on what I haven't done--I focus on what I have done. I try to lay my head down each night knowing I did the most I could for that day. Hey Rick H.--any idea where I got this from??? LOL!!
DeleteTools, huh. I like that subject Freeman. Lets see, tools for discipline....
Delete1. When I'm tempted to do something wrong -don't stay where Im at thinking about it- get up and do something else for 15 minutes- something positive-that God would like and hopefully I enjoy as well. Something productive not destructive.
2. Get in a scheduled routine like now I'm playing racquetball 3 times a week and/or swimming a couple times a week. So when its time to go -dont say" Hmm I wonder if i should go?".. Just get up and go like a robot..
I wrote in my book that bad habits are so easy to make and keep going- Good habits are hard to make and die so very easily without discipline.
Thanks Rick H.