The other day I was reading
in one of my morning meditation books the idea that we need to stay the course
in recovery. We should focus on our life goals and not be distracted by small
irritations and frustrations.
My over all life goal is to
be the best me I can be- all the way till my last days on earth. That definitely includes staying clean and sober however it includes many other areas
as well. Examples include, keeping my body healthy, keeping my thoughts positive, absent of as many negative, fearful,
resentful, angry as possible, being kind and considerate to others,-treating
them as I would like to be treated, being honest, staying aware of the defects
that cause me distress and becoming willing to let them go, helping others in
need, being financially responsible, keeping in good spiritual condition,
becoming a good father and husband…
These are a few of the major
components of my life’s goal- Don’t laugh- I said it they were goals- The thing
is although I don’t do well in some of the areas on a daily basis, at least I
have a direction of where I want to go. This direction helps me with daily
decisions and priorities.
On days I struggle with some
or all of these areas, I think about what my sponsor told me once, “I'm doing
the best I can with what I have today, and some days I have more than others”.
I have described this this
topic to others in a metaphor. I picture
the journey I'm on as going down a large slow moving river headed toward a
wonderful place. The river represents the path I have chosen to be the best
person I can be. Now going down that river at times I get distracted and end up
moving to an eddy ( definition: a current of water running contrary to the main current;) where I go around and around in circles- not moving
forward toward my goal- but still on the river.
These are times that my defects
of character explode, I take my will back, get selfish-self centered, etc, etc.
If your in recovery you understand this place.
The good news for me is as I
stay sober longer I dislike these eddies more and more and stay there less and
less often. I long to be back on that peaceful flow on the main river current-
and the good news is I have plenty of tools to get me back there again. All I need
is the willingness. Sometimes it takes longer to get it than I would like. But
I always get it… Been on this good river of recovery for over 23 years.
I have no plans to get off.
How would you describe your “river
of recovery”?
What is your definition of
being the best person you can be?
When you get in a “life eddy”
how do you get out?
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