Sunday, April 20, 2014

Reflections on the road to Recovery from alcoholism- The mornings

...on the Road to Recovery

                                                  The Morning
When I was drinking, I would wake up and think, "Oh my God, it's the morning."

In recovery I wake and think, "It's the morning, good morning God."

How did you and do you now wake in the morning?

Monday, April 14, 2014

Reflections on the road to Recovery from alcoholism- Relationships

........on the road to Recovery

One measure of the daily quality of our program of recovery ...and our spiritual the state of our relationships with others.

I don't know about anyone else, but keeping relationships intact and growing is extremely difficult for me, especially when my spiritual condition is weak.

Why?  A few examples:

I tend to quit when there is friction or strong negative emotional exchanges - I think "I don't need this anymore".

I get irritable and judgmental and people don't want to be around me.

I like to isolate.

It's difficult for me to engage socially in a comfortable manner.

I get bored easily.

I want perfection.

When I think about relationships, there are many types I include:

My wife, my children, the rest of my family, my wife's family, my neighbors, my friends in recovery, my church members, my sponsor, those I sponsor, and God.

Where do you stand with your relationships?

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Reflections on the road to Recovery from alcoholism- Words of addicition and recovery

...on the Road to Recovery

                                    Words of addiction and recovery

When my alcoholism and addictive personalty are active, the following words describe my tendencies:

Impulsive, fast, selfish, mean-spirited, irritable, angry, fearful, seeking immediate gratification, undisciplined...

Drifting and remaining in this state takes no effort on my part- just happens by default.

In recovery, I have been introduced to a whole new set of words that represent the fullness of sobriety (soundness of mind) to me:

Perseverance, consistency, thoroughness, patience, kindness, caring, courage, discipline, thoughtfulness, other- focused...

Implementing and integrating these attitudes and actions in my life is extremely difficult for me. I make frustratingly slow progress. But each step toward them gets me to be the kind of person who I like and who God meant me to be.  As I move toward them (on a snail's pace). I like myself more and more (I believe others feel the same about me). It's truly a journey.

Which of these words strike home with you?

What words would you add?

Where are you on the journey of transformation as you envision it?

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Reflections on the road to Recovery from alcoholism- Who am I, really?

...on the Road to Recovery

                                                           Who am I, really?

Fueled by alcohol,  I gained the false courage to behave in a way that reflected the person I thought I wanted to be. In new sobriety, absent alcohol, I found that I was full of fear and lacked the courage to become the person I knew I was meant to be.

Through the grace of God and the power of AA I am becoming the the person God meant for me to be-one day at a time- for 24 years (today).