Friday, January 23, 2015

Recovery from Alcoholism- "Negotiate, compromise, communicate"

....on the Road to Recovery

                                    "Negotiate, compromise, communicate"

Relationships are difficult. For anyone, addiction issues or not.

The three words above have become a clear pathway for me to have a chance at success in a relationship. I'm in no way saying I have a command of these skills, I just have become confident that they are keys for success.

Negotiate - We learn to give and take. The "it's my way or the highway" doesn't work to well for the other party. Maybe sometimes we do something we don't want to do, just for the good of the other person. They will know we are doing it - that helps - a lot.

Compromise - Maybe we can't have all that we want, exactly the way we want it. Maybe some adjustment that makes the other person feel more comfortable is worth the sacrifice.

Communicate - I think guys especially believe that their thoughts, feelings  and wants are somehow magically transmitted to the other party,without speaking. Guys, it's not true. We need to talk for communication to work. And then, an equally difficult thing for all of us,we need to listen to the other person (not just hear them) without preparing our response while they are speaking.

Someone told me once that when his sponsor calls him, the first question he asks is "How are your relationships going?"

How are your relationships going today?

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